Overcome defeat by focusing on the good in life

Overcome defeat by focusing on the good in life

When we meet defeat upon defeat it feels like our lives aren’t going the way we want them to and it can be frustrating and depressing, but as with all things: it can be turned around.

Cheat sheet:

  • You actually have a good life.
  • We’re programmed to focus on solving issues, but in the process we forget the good things in our lives.
  • Take a step back and find appreciation in the good things.


Overcome your focus on defeat

Life hasn’t been going your way recently and it feels like “defeat” is the theme right now.

We all have times in our lives where it just seems that no matter what we do, we fail. And when things aren’t going well it’s so easy for us to focus on that and forget the things that are working for us.

Partly because we’re used to what does go our way, and we take them for granted every day we wake up.

We generally have a tendency to focus on what’s in front of us while we forget what’s around us and behind us.

That tunnel vision can be great for problem solving when we need to only focus on what’s ahead of us (and that’s why we have it), but it also becomes difficult to abstract from it and to see the bigger picture – to remember the good things in life.

Focus on the good things in your life

If you’re single you might be frustrated you can’t get a date, and become blind to the fact that the rest of your life is going well.

  • You can’t get a date but you have a loving family.
  • You can’t get a date but you have a good job.
  • You can’t get a date but you have good friends, and so on.

You actually have a good life, there’s just one part of it that isn’t working and we tend to forget that in the process.

The same goes if you have a partner but can’t find a good job or good friends. Dark, stormy clouds enter your mind and block out the sun – all you see is the failure in front of you.

Focus on the good things in life

Don’t let yourself be dragged into that vacuum of focus, where only your failures and problems live.

Take a step back from time to time, when you feel nothing is going your way and focus on what is going your way – be it family, friends, health, or your good looks (yes, you’re lovely).

In fact, no matter how you feel, take a short moment every day – perhaps just before you go to bed – and think about the good things in your life and how lucky you are to have them.

The human mind deals in relatives and no matter how much we have, we end up taking it for granted and wanting more. Because we don’t focus on how good our life is already, we focus on what we need to do to improve it.

And if we only focus on what we need to improve it’s an endless cycle of searching for more when most of what we need, we already have… we just don’t see it because our focus is elsewhere.

The call to action is simple for this one, and you can pick either (or all) of them, depending on what’s going well for you in life:

  • Call someone close to you and tell them you appreciate them.
  • When you go to work find the part of the day you like the most and take a moment to appreciate it. To soak in all the impressions.
  • Look up from your screen right now, look around and see how good your life is. You have a roof over your head, you have food on your table and you have a group of people around you who care.

Copy the link to this article and send it to a friend, a colleague, or your mom. We could all use a little more appreciation in/of our lives.

All the best, you’re the best. Rasmus from EZ Philosophy.


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