There’s nothing wrong with you

There’s nothing wrong with you

Then why am I sad/overweight/uncool/awkward/introvert/unsuccessful and so on?

Maybe you’re troubled by jealousy. Maybe it’s anger. Maybe it’s your metabolism. Too much body hair…

Sometimes, when we don’t fit into the boxes we think we’re supposed to fit into, we ask ourselves, what’s wrong with us. The answer is: there’s nothing wrong with you.


Why you think there is something wrong with you

You think there is because you define yourself by how you fit into modern day society, but modern-day society started growing around 200 years ago, and hasn’t matured until a handful of decades ago (go back just two generations and we were still mostly farmers and factory workers). Comparatively modern-day humans haven’t evolved significantly the last thousands of years.

We’re living in bodies that are designed for a hunter-gatherer lifestyle, in small tribes scattered across a vast wilderness. Unless you’re Bear Grylls, that means your body, your mind, your emotions are not made to live the life we do now – they’re made to make you survive under ancient conditions.

And there’s a big difference between ancient survival and modern day “success”.

So, there’s nothing wrong with you – whatever you dislike about yourself just doesn’t fit what’s expected by the times you live in.

  • Obese because of low metabolism? That would have been a positive in times where food was scarce.
  • Anger issues? That could have helped you if someone in your tribe tried to dominate you and push you out.
  • Too much body hair? Could have helped shelter you from the sun in times where you would live outdoors.
  • Can’t sit still for hours and focus in class? Surprise, surprise, we’re not build for that either.

The list goes on and on and on.

The reason why some thrive in these times and others don’t is because of survival purposes. We’re made to be different and it’s the diversity that’s made us able to inhabit all parts of the planet and endure every turning tide.


You’re a square trying to fit into a bubble

Do you know that toy toddlers have where there’s a ball, a star and a square, and the child has to put them into a hole with their respective shape?

If the child tries to force the square through the round hole, would you judge the square for being inadequate, or is it simply the conditions that don’t fit?

Charles Darwin called it “Survival of the Fittest” not because certain species have a good resting pulse, but because those who best fit the conditions at a given time have the highest chances of survival.

Thankfully, life isn’t about survival anymore, but biology hasn’t changed with society and that’s why we sometimes have tendencies that seem detrimental to our success.

Anger, jealousy, and ego are remnants from earlier days, where people would question your place in the tribe, and try to take it from you, to put themselves in a position where they would have better access to resources, necessary to their own survival.

These “bad” emotions could have been what kept you from loosing that spot. Jealousy because someone tried to steal (became a threat to) what you had. Ego because you thought you should have it more than they should. And anger as a reaction to the threat. In modern day that behavior is unconstructive but in olden times it made sense.

We talk about how emotions don’t make sense, aren’t rational and can’t be trusted, which might be true for today’s society, but way back in time, they made perfect sense, and that’s why we have them. There’s nothing you do, you don’t do for a reason. Nature doesn’t fool around.

Singing and acting, for example, are traits that might have also been sought after back in cave days, but if you couldn’t hunt, take care of children, or in other ways contribute to the survival of the tribe, you probably would have been an outcast.


You’re designed for something different, but can still adapt

So, when life isn’t going your way and you don’t understand why you do as you do, remember you’re designed to survive and pass on your genes. Everything you feel and do is in connection to that, and not what to do when there’s an issue with liquidity in the third quarter and market shares are dwindling.

That doesn’t mean you cannot make better choices – we are intelligent beings with a developed culture after all – but it means you shouldn’t feel frustrated about not fitting in, because there’s nothing wrong with you.

You simply don’t fit what’s expected of you at the time. You’re a square and the times prefer a bubble. Nothing wrong with that, and it doesn’t mean you cannot succeed anyway, it just means you have to put a little more effort into it.

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Because being a square is OK, but why settle with OK, when you could have amazing?


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